Euro English

I have this habit of taking a print out of anything interesting I come across on the net. Maybe not a good idea because every nook and corner of my house is piled up with papers and books. There are so many paper clippings and articles to be pasted into the scrapbook. I am worried that once my 9-month old son starts walking, what will happen to all those pieces of paper? I also have this habit of preserving newspapers and magazines which is of historical importance or which has my article/ letter in it. My prized possession, among other papers, is the one that my grandfather had of the Indian Express dated January 26, 1950. But, in this blog, I want to share the contents of one the earliest e-mails I received a good decade back. It was mailed to me by a friend who is now in USA. I remember the joy of holding the printout of this mail. (Still in my collection, and the paper has turned yellowish). The Mail I thought you might find this article interesting. The News Standard has received this bulletin fresh from our Brussels based News Service... The European Union Commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euro English (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with 'k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters and keyboards can have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.